For Better or For Worse Page 4

  “What’s wrong baby?” she asked confusingly. I rested my head against hers. “I don’t know… guess I got a lot on my mind.” She sat up pulling grass out of her hair and I rolled over. “So talk to me.” I looked out onto the lake, picked up some nearby rocks and stood up. “My uncle has been talking to me about going to school.” I threw a rock across the lake. “He thinks I should enroll in some classes.” She stood up beside me and wiped grass off her shorts. “What’s wrong with that. I’m going to the university in the fall. Why don’t you come too?”

  Lucy had got accepted to go the UCF a while back, she was going to be a long way from home and I was going to be missing her like crazy. But I couldn’t be mad at her for wanting to better herself. I smiled at her naivety, not knowing people like me don’t go college…hell I was lucky to even have my GED. I was a street rat who was hustling at twelve and if it wasn’t for my aunt and uncle knocking some sense into my head and coming to save me, I would still be doing it. “That’s not for me. That’s not what I want.” She looked at me curiously then out at the lake. “Well what do you want?” To be honest I never thought about it. I never thought I could have anything more than what I have right now. I thought about something for minute…something that could possibly be an option.

  “My grandfather was welder. He used to travel the country and comeback and tell me all types of stories about his job. Little adventures he called them.” I threw another rock and paused. “Maybe that’s something.” “Grant, there offering programs at job hunters.” Lucy said slapping my arm. Her gaze turned to the lake, the sun was setting and we were both there together to see it. “I can go with you first thing tomorrow and sign you up…if you want.” I stared at this girl. I didn’t understand, we were not in an official relationship, we weren’t even having sex and yet I kept her around. I even talked to her in ways that I have never talked to anyone and now here she was willing to help me become a welder. “You really think I can do it?” I asked her. She smiled at me while picking up a rock and throwing it across the lake. “I think you can do anything.”

  ***

  “Ok baby, do we have everything? Clothes, documentation, bags, is this everything?” I asked Lucy. It was time for the baby to come and I was completely in a panic. “Yes, yes, everything is here your worrying more than I am.” She yelled. Lucy was moving more slowly now, I figured the baby must be getting heavy to tote around in her small body. I still caught myself enjoying looking at her round belly and although she had always maintained my full attention…. It didn’t hurt that certain objects were getting larger due to her pregnancy. I could hear the wind coming down from the snow and it snapped me back into reality. “We better get a move on baby, it’s getting bad out there.”

  “I hope we can make it in the storm” Lucy started to look overwhelmed. I came over and put my hand on her lower back. “We will make it Luce…don’t worry everything’s ready to go.” Lucy started to breathe heavy as she leaned on the bed. “I just don’t want anything to go wrong.” She panted. I looked down at my wife; she seemed to be in pain causing me to get nervous.

  “Are you ok babe?” She shook her head. “I need to get to the doctor…fast.” I pulled her up to her feet and that’s when it happened. Splash. “Oh Lord. Is that what I think it is?” I asked in shock at what just spilled all over the floor. “Oh that’s just great… my water broke all over my new fur rug. Perfect.” Lucy began to howl in pain, putting some suffering on my hand that she was squeezing. “Um it’s ok, let’s just get in the car and I’ll take you to the hospital.” I spoke in a calm voice, but I was no were near calm. “Honey the hospital is over an hour away, and there is probably so much snow outside we couldn’t even get out of the garage.” Lucy tried to explain while slowly moving back down to the bed. I ran to the window, she was right we couldn’t make it out there in that snow. Oh damn, I was starting to... starting to lose it but I couldn’t let her know that. “I’m going to call the ambulance.”

  “Aaaaah.” The sharp pains were coming from inside her and the pain from it all seemed unbearable. I quickly finished the call and ran to attend to my wife. “Baby its ok, I just got off the phone with the ambulance and they’re going to get here as quickly as possible.” Lucy was breathing heavier causing her to perspire. “Tell that to the baby because it’s coming.” Panic struck over my face, I tried to keep my composure but it didn’t last long. I was freaking out, but Lucy wincing in pain brought me back to reality. I had to do something. “Alright listen to me I’m going to go downstairs, get some towels and water. Now I want you to lie back and try to get as comfortable as possible.” I instructed.

  “No, I don’t want you to leave me.” She began to plead. “Honey the baby is coming, I have to do something to help ok.” Lucy was nodding through falling tears. I grabbed her face and kissed her mouth to calm her down. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise. Just relax.” As she eased back on the bed, I ran downstairs and gathered everything I could think of from birthing class…good thing they gave us some material on what to do in case of an emergency. Lucy was breathing properly but couldn’t fight the tears that were flowing down like puddles on her face. “It’s ok. Everything is going to be ok.” I reassured her while gently placing everything down. The towels were on the bed and the tub of hot water on the floor. I sat on the bed in front of Lucy contemplating what to do next.

  “Ok I got everything. I just have to see what’s going on down there.” I slowly took off her underwear, and looked under her dark orange dress. “To think this is how this all got started.” I joked. She laughed through the pain, clutching the sheets for dear life. I opened her legs and put my hand down to feel for widening or for the baby’s head. Clearly there was no need since I could see the head as clear as day. “Oh hell!” I jumped back. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Lucy asked worried. I choked back vomit and remained calm. “Nothing its good, it’s all good.” Ok, I said to myself just don’t look down, you can do this. I reached for the head again. “Alright baby you ready?” I prepped her. Lucy looked shocked. “What? Ready for what?” She looked at me not knowing what the hell was about to happen. “Sweetie you got to push.” “Push, so you’re going to deliver the baby? No, we have to wait for the doctors. They’re going to be here any minute.”

  She tried to convince herself but another contraction struck causing her to scream. “I think the baby disagrees with you.” I replied trying to talk some sense into her. Lucy kept shaking her head and I was becoming more and more frustrated in this dire situation…I didn’t have time for all this defiance right now. “Look honey this kid is coming. Now you can try holding him in for as long as you want or we can go ahead and meet our child.” Lucy was breathing more rapidly now but complied. “Ok, on three now I’m going to need you to push. One, two,” I could feel the baby slowly easing on out I was practically holding him in my hands. Lucy looked as if she was going to pass out due to all the pressure but kept going. “It’s ok honey. Its ok, were almost done. All I need is just one more good push ok?”

  She nodded. “On three, One, Two,” And in one swoop he came to me with the lungs of life. I cradled him in my arms and quickly cleaned him off. My little boy continued to cry out, hating the fact that he had to leave his warm haven in his mother’s womb. I sat there and admired what had been created over the past nine months. He was so beautiful. He had a head full of black hair, pretty pinkish skin and dark brown eyes. We looked so much a like I might as well have given birth to him. “Well look at you huh.” He calmed down from crying so much after a while. I was gleaming at my son. “Lucy baby look at him he’s beautiful look….” Lucy wasn’t making a sound, I moved closer to her. She was breathing; I think she passed out due to all the pain. I laid the baby on her chest and I held them both in my arms as the sounds of sirens started to pierce my ears …damn what a day.

  Chapter 5

  Get with it or Get lost

  Lucy

  By the time the paramedics got to the house
everything was ok, baby Gregory James Smith had been brought into the world successfully. I couldn’t believe my little boy was here after all this time. Grant was so strong and brave to deliver our son all by himself; I was in complete admiration of him for bringing our baby boy into this world safely. After little Greg and I were brought to the hospital to be examined we were able to be released a few days later. I was so excited for my family to come home together and start our lives. As a few months passed Grant and I had to adjust to our new bundle of joy, who left us completely and utterly exhausted. “Waaaaaah, waaaaaah.” “Oh c’mon kid damn.” Grant groaned while slamming a pillow over his head.

  “Does he ever sleep?” I slouched up in the bed and dragged myself out. “Nope…and neither do we.” I headed to the nursery and heard my baby boys screams grow louder and louder. “Awww…What’s wrong little man.” I gently picked up little Greg out of his crib that cost us a fortune. I made sure my baby had the best, a well put together crib, room full of toys and flashing chu chu train lights, come to think about it Grant and I may have went a little overboard for our newborn. I sat down in the rocking chair and I held him close till he dozed off. I noticed Grant watching over us in the doorway. He came over and laid his head in my lap. “What’s wrong baby?” I asked. He hesitated a minute before answering, “Lucy I think I’m going to give up welding.”

  I was taken back, “Really? And do what?” I know you don’t think you about to stay up in this house without a job, I thought to myself. He looked up at me sincerely, “I’ve been thinking, I know a few people who work in the corporation, hopefully I can get hooked up with a desk job or something. Hell if I go back to school and get in some night classes I could be running things.” I was damn near in tears when he told me he wanted to go back to school; it was hard enough to make Grant go to the welding program let along college. For him to even be motivated to do something like that was powerful. “I’m getting tired of being away for so long. I was thinking maybe a desk job in the company could keep me close to home and give me some time with you guys.” I smiled. “Well that sounds good to me. What brought this on?” Grants kissed the top of little Greg’s head and then brought his mouth to mine and lingered for a moment. “He did.”

  Five years passed soon after little Greg was born and I had moved up to chief editor of Elite. I hoped out of my new SL five hundred Benz and made my way into the work place. “Hello Mrs. Smith how are you?” “Just fine thank you.” I made way into my office and looked at the work schedule before me today. “Let’s see meeting at ten, phone call with a modeling agency at twelve, and a staff meeting at three.” “Knock knock boss lady.” Meg strolled in. “So how does it feel to be the new chief editor of Elite?” I pretended to think about it for a minute. “Quite glamorous thank you for asking.” We pulled each other into a hug.

  “Girl it’s been a long time coming?” She squealed. “Who are you telling?” After years of hard work and selling out multiple covers of Elite I finally got promoted to chief editor. I strutted back to my seat in my power black suit. I felt all my hard work had finally paid off. Meg took a seat opposite me in a covered black dress and white pearls looking like a runway model herself. “So, how have you celebrated your rising up?” She asked cheerfully. I halfway smiled knowing that there wasn’t a lot of celebrating going in my house lately, matter fact you would think I was robbing banks the way my husband hates my job. “Well Grant and I went to dinner, ordered a cake and… yeah it was fun.”

  Meg nodded at my dull face. “Wow… I so believe you.” I rolled my eyes at her unable to hide the truth. “Ok so it wasn’t as perfect as I would have hoped for but it’s ok.” “Ok, what the hell is wrong with him. Does he know how hard you have worked to get this position?” I shook my head and stared at the wedding picture of Grant and I on my desk.The day I married him was the happiest day of my life, how things ended up being so poorly now I didn’t know. “I work long hours…I get home damn near midnight. Grant thinks I’m neglecting him.” Meg gave me her infamous girl please look. “Well it’s not easy being on top… you have to put in some time. He should understand.” I leaned up in my chair. “I tried telling him that but it goes in one ear and out the other.”

  I sighed, my frustration was getting to me and every day I end up popping Advil’s like skittles. Meg nodded. “I got a plan. I say take one day out the week and spend it with him and Greg. You guys can go to an amusement park, out to dinner, have family bonding time.” I shook my head and looked at her like she was crazy. “A day girl, are you kidding? Do you know how much work I have to do within the hour let along a day?” Whew, it hurt my brain just thinking about it. “C’mon luce try and met the man halfway here...please.” I gave it some thought, we could all use some time together as a family. “I guess a day wouldn’t hurt…” I stared back out at our wedding photo missing that passion and love my husband and I used to have. “I could use some personal time to end this dry spell if you know what I mean.” I laughed but Meg looked at me as if she was scared. “Girl I hope I never have to know what you mean.”

  Grant

  Honk, Honk. Traffic today was a bitch as usual, I should have guessed so being that it was three in the afternoon. But this was the time that I had to pick up my son from school because Lord knows his mother could never get around to doing it. Little Greg was getting bigger by the second and already attending kindergarten with the other kids. It amazed me how time flied so fast. Lucy had moved up in her position to chief editor making Elite one of the most successful magazines in New York. I went back to school obtained my AA in management and took over a supervising job at my welding company. I may not have had the same rush of excitement exploring out different cities but it was the same satisfaction. I stopped at little Greg’s school in my New Range Rover, and waited for him to be walked out.

  “Dad….Dad….” he ran into my arms from the playground outside. “Hey there kid…How was Happy Learners? Huh?” I glanced over my son, barely 4’3, his medium brown skin glowing into the sunlight, and his curly hair was softly blowing in the breeze but the thing that made me smile was that all his teeth had seemed to be disappearing. “Today was great Dad. I played on the jungle gym, monkey bars, and sandbox.” He spoke so joyfully. “That’s great. Are you ready to go home?” He smiled jumping up in down like the energizer bunny. “Yeah.” A look of nervousness spread across my face as I noticed my son’s hyper actions. “Um, Greg… what did your mama pack you for a snack today?” “Air heads and caprisun!”

  He screamed, still jumping up and down. Got damn, I thought. I told her ass stop feeding him all that damn candy now he’s gonna be bouncing off the walls. After getting home I let little Greg watch some television and ordered some take out for the both of us for dinner tonight. After dinner Greg got washed up and I prepared him for bed. “And the little prince lived happily ever after.” “Yaaaaaaay…read it again.” Little Greg begged. I sat up and kissed him on the head. “No can do kid, it’s time for bed.” He dropped his head down. “Aaah… Man.” I laughed. “Maybe tomorrow ok.” He nodded his little head. “K…maybe mama can read with us too.” I grimaced a little then smiled at my son. “Maybe.” I turned off the light and let Greg go to sleep.

  Chapter 6

  Making an Effort

  Grant

  It was no secret I hated my wife’s job, don’t get me wrong I loved the fact she was doing what she always wanted to do, but it was the time it was taking away from Greg and I that caused a constant argument, yet the end result would never change. By the time Lucy got home little Greg was fast asleep and I was cleaning up the kitchen…as usual. “Hey.” She said while strolling in. I turned from the dishes and looked up at her. She looked real business savvied up as always in her dark tailored suit and matching bag, she was still a very appealing woman to me but she was missing that care free attitude and sparkle in her eye she used to have. “Well you made it in before the crack of dawn, that’s great.”

  I said sarcastically and
I didn’t even care if it offended her anymore. “Oh c’mon baby.” Lucy exhaled. “I left a message.” I shook my head...the fourth message this week. God forbid if I tally up the whole month. “Yeah, another message saying you won’t be home again tonight.” I paused to seriously look at her, this beautiful woman; she has the same pretty eyes, soft lips, and curly hair that I loved so much. It always really matched well with her dark ebony skin. All the familiar features were there but I still couldn’t see my wife. “I wonder do you prefer to be at your job instead of home with your family.” Lucy looked irritated now and plopped her bag on the table. “You know that’s not true, be fair this month’s issue was serious, work needed to be done.”

  I sucked my teeth at her and began to walk up stairs. “Stop Luce, just stop, it’s always something with you.” She rolled her eyes and followed me. “Grant, can you wait a second.” As I walked into the bedroom I noticed how this once lively room now seemed so dark and dreary…the passion that kept us going seemed to be fading. I turned around to face her. “You know why I stopped welding baby. I didn’t want to be miles away from my family. You guys needed me here. Now this was brought to my attention when our son was born that I needed to get my life together, now five years later you still haven’t caught on?” I didn’t understand her, why couldn’t she see that she was avoiding me and her son like we were unimportant or something to scratch off her to do list.