For Better or For Worse Page 11

  Nevertheless she motioned for me to come into her office. I looked for Alexia, she was busy talking to the nurses then quickly followed Doctor Cramer into her office to have a much need conversation. “Have a seat sir.” She said getting comfortable behind her desk. “What can I do for you?” I quickly took a seat in the chair across from her and began to plead my case. “Doctor, I was wondering was it a possibility that we could do an early paternity test on the baby.” The look on Doctor Cramer’s face seemed to be taken back. She looked at me puzzled and gulped. “I’m sorry Mr. Smith, it’s a little too early in the pregnancy to be seeking paternity.” I leaned in a little closer to the doctor to let her know how seriously I needed this. “Doc, I know that the fluid around the baby can contain stem cells from both parents. I was thinking maybe possibly…” Doctor Cramer shook her head. “Mr. Smith I…” “Please.” I begged her. “Please.” She took a deep breath as if she had finally given in. She must have seen the desperation in my eyes. Doctor Cramer leaned back into her chair and rested her troubled grey head. “Alright…Alright I’ll see what I can do….But I’m not making any promises…In the baby’s state right now we wouldn’t want to do anything that might harm it. And we would also need the mothers permission as well.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief and reached for the doctors hands, “Thank you….thank you. I’m sure that wouldn’t be a problem.” She nodded and waved me off so she could get to work. I met up with Alexia afterward, she looked at me puzzled. “What were you doing in there?” I looked at her face; she looked beautiful today in a light yellow dress it really brought out her beautiful skin. “I just wanted to know if there was anything else I could do for you or the baby.” “Well from our conversation last week it sounded like you wanted us to disappear.” I sighed at her anger, even though she had every right to be offended. “C’mon Alexia you know the situation.” Her pretty face turned angry. “And do you think killing our baby is going to make your marriage better than it has been in the past year?” I couldn’t deal with her venom right now, besides her and the baby I had enough on my plate. I decided instead of arguing, the best thing for the three of us was for me to be the bigger person and soothe situation. “I placed my hands on her shoulders; I could tell she wasn’t expecting that due to the look on her face.

  “Alexia, I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. I care about you and this baby but I have put my marriage in a difficult point right now. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a part of this child’s life…If you will let me.” She nodded and her face softened at my sincerity. “Of course I want you to be a part of the baby’s life, but I don’t want it to be some type of burden for you, something you have to do. This child is innocent of any wrong doing it shouldn’t be treated like a nuisance.” “And it won’t be…I’ll never do that. Do you believe me?” She looked into my eyes for conformation and nodded. Finally some understanding, I thought. “Now I am going to be honest with you, I do want a paternity test just to be sure.” Alexia scowled. “Of course you do, because I’m sleeping around with everybody right?” I sighed. “Alexia, I just don’t want any doubts.” Alexia studied me for a second and smirked. “Ok, and when you find out that this baby is yours what then?” “I am going to do everything in my power to take care of it and you.” She smiled faintly and I could tell her guard had been let down. I breathed a sigh of relief. “Let me take you home now.” I said guiding her to the exit of the hospital. I still held the sonogram picture of the baby in my hands. I glanced down at it not knowing how to break the news to my wife…but I knew it had to be done.

  Lucy

  Grant and I were actually talking again, spending more and more time together, and being a real family. We haven’t felt this good or stable in our relationship in years…and the more time we spent together the better we seemed to get. I had been praying for this moment for a while now, the moment where I could look into my man’s eyes and know that we were truly happy…and we were. Everything was finally going great for me and I guess it showed. “Well don’t you look happy today.” Megan came into my office grinning. “Why yes I am.” I gave her a hug with a big Kool-Aid grin plastered on my face. “Happy to hear that girl, at one point I thought I was going to have to help you pack boxes.” She joked…but not really. I laughed knowing she spoke the truth. “Well thank God it didn’t turn out like that.” I placed my coffee on my desk and stretched out in the back of my chair.

  This feeling that was over me felt like ecstasy…I most definitely was on cloud nine and feeling so damn good. “I’ll tell you Meg…Things have gotten so much better between Grant and I …I can’t believe I could feel this way again.” Megan took a seat opposite me nodded. “Ummm Hmmm …good sex does heal all wounds.” We both looked at each other and almost fell on the floor laughing… because she had a point there. “Not just that Ms. Freak a leak… Grant and I have emotionally reconnected, not just physically. This reminds me of when we first met and I couldn’t wait to see him every second of the day. Oooh.” Meg smiled at me while I floated on thin air. “Lucy I got to say I am so happy to see you like this…its incredible.” “Girl tell me about it.” Knock, knock. “Hello…Mrs. Smith.”

  Luis the office mail man appeared in my doorway, he was also the community mail man who ran in my neighborhood, and such a sweet old man who would stop by my office and speak from time to time. “Hey there Luis…How are you?” Megan and I tried to recollect ourselves from our girlish talk knowing a man at entered the room. “Hi there dear, I was supposed to deliver the mail along the offices and came across some of your house mail” He came in breathing a little heavy with his hand across his round stomach. “I usually wouldn’t give it to you here but I have to head home as soon as possible…my son is coming in to town.” I reached for the mail he had in his hands. “Oh that’s alright…Saves me the trouble of stopping at the mailbox huh?” He smiled and leaned over to hand me the mail. I waved Luis off before he made his exit. “What a day what a day” Meg tilted back in chair appearing in a daze. “Girl no wonder you passed off the office annual ball to me…with all this damn work I’m doing…I can’t decide whether it’s a blessing or a curse.” I chuckled her way as I flipped through the mail. “Well now it’s your cross to bear because I am d-o-n…what.” Shockingly, I came across a letter from a medical office addressed to Grant. Mothers care facility, I read. Isn’t that the maternity part of Shand’s hospital. Why the hell would they be sending him this? “Everything ok Luce?” Meg said popping her head back up and looking at the concern on my face. “Huh, yeah girl I’m cool. Probably just some junk mail.” I continued to hold onto the letter in my hand; from this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach I knew something wasn’t right. And I would be damned if I didn’t find out what in the hell the hell was going on.

  Chapter 14

  Lie to me

  Grant

  “Oh my …my…Just my.” Frank was completely in panic mode. His frazzled face had grown ten shades paler than usual. He leaned his elbows on his knees and looked at me in utter disappointment sitting in the chair across from my desk. I finally confessed to somebody this horrifying secret. I told him everything, from start to finish hoping and praying he could come up with a solution to help. He looked at me with such a shocked face like I had just told him I was Osama Bin Laden and I needed help with my diabolical plan. After taking some time to decipher the foul information I had just told him, Frank finally spoke. “You have no idea how deep of a grave you have dug yourself in huh?” I shook my head in frustration, the last thing I needed from him now was a berating. “Frank help me.” He stood up in outrage. “Grant you have...”

  “Don’t lecture me.” I cut him off. “Help me...” Frank took a deep breath before speaking. “That’s what I have been trying to explain to you Grant…There is no help.” I looked at him in disbelief refusing to believe what he just said. But Frank was not backing down in his stance. “I’m sorry man this is too much… I can’t promise you everything’s
going to be ok.” I dropped my head into my hands knowing he spoke the truth…I was screwed, either way this was a no win situation. Frank reached out his hand to me and placed it on my back. “Grant the best I can do is tell you to come clean about the whole situation.” I shook my head and looked at him like he was joking. “How can I do that…how can I possibly do that…tell my wife I have been having an affair for over three months and oh yeah to top it off she’s pregnant. I might as well be signing my death warrant.” I paced the room back and forth trying to find a positive solution that wouldn’t cost me my family. Not now God, not when we have finally gotten so better, don’t take them away from me please. I silently prayed. Frank sighed and his anger turned into pity for me and my situation. “Grant any way you spin this it is going to be bad ok…but I assure if she finds out on her own it will be worst. There will be no coming back.” I fell back on to the chair near my desk; “It’s going to hurt her…Its going to hurt us.” Frank reached out and touched my shoulder again. “The longer you wait the worse it’s going to be.” I dropped my head down low and accepted my fate. Knowing what I had to do and the pain I was going to cause.

  As I pulled into the drive way I was ready to face the music, it was time to come clean to Lucy about everything. I walked through the front door and pre pared myself for the worst. I knew I was going to hurt the woman I loved more than anything in the world but it had to be done; I was no longer able to lie to neither her nor myself anymore. Strangely as I made my way inside all the lights were off in the house; except for the dining room lights. I felt a strange vibe brewing in my home and wanted to know where everyone was. I loosened my tie, took a few steps into the dining area and spotted Lucy at the table. She must have heard my footsteps behind her because she straightened her position in the chair. “Lucy…Baby...what’s wrong?” She looked up at me, her face appeared so dazed almost as if she wasn’t even there and it frightened me to see her like that…so gone. By the look on her face I could tell she wanted to say something but had a hard time getting it out. “The….” She cleared her throat and breathed so she could speak clearer. “The mail came early t…today. …from the….the medical center.”

  She was clutching a letter in her hand. My heart was aching and my body grew cold because I knew what she had in her hand and how much it was hurting her. Lucy looked back down at the paper and started laughing; she stood up and pulled me into a tight embrace. “Please.” She said so low it sounded like a whisper. “Please tell me it’s not true. Please…” She was holding on to me for dear life refusing to let go. I grabbed her arms trying to get her to release me but to no avail. “It’s not true…you couldn’t… you wouldn’t do this to me….You wouldn’t baby.” Her voice cracked, the tears were pouring down; I could feel the wetness around my neck. Lucy pulled my face to hers and kissed my lips desperately. “This is a joke right? It is, you’re not…You’re not the father of this girls baby…No.”

  She continued to kiss me not passionately but in an attempt to silence me refusing to let me say anything at all let along the truth. Lucy was helplessly frantic and scaring me by her actions. I pulled her away from me so that I could look her in the face. “Say it…Say it’s not true tell me...” She was practically begging me to give her a false report, to tell her a bold face lie…I couldn’t do it. “I want you.” She took a breath to calm herself down. “I want you to tell me.” Lucy clutched my shoulders and begged and pleaded me. “Say it….SAY IT!” She screamed. I couldn’t do anything but look at her with sorrowful eyes saying and begging that I’m sorry. “Oh God…..Oh God…Oh my God.” She fell to the floor crying and sobbing. Her tears were failing waterfalls from devastating pain. . All I could do was watch at the damage I had done, to my wife, and to my family.

  Lucy

  I laid there and cradled myself on the floor for about an hour unable to move, tears helplessly streamed down my face as my heart broke into a million pieces. Grant sat there near the wall and watched me cry knowing that he was the cause of all my suffering. I looked at him looking at me. “How could you do this to me?” My voice was drained it came out as a dry whisper as I spoke to him. He sat and rubbed his hand over his head trying to find words that would clear his name but there were none so he went with the typical male thing to say in situations like these. “I’m sorry I…” I scoffed cutting him off. “I am so tired of hearing you say that shit.” I slowly got up off of the dining room floor and went to the kitchen sink to wash my face, he followed me.

  “I didn’t want any of this to happen baby you got to believe me…things just got out of control” I just stood there shaking my head. I couldn’t believe the bullshit he was saying to me. “ Grant I don’t understand… help me understand how you could have sex with this woman repeatedly and not think once, even once what your stupid ass was doing was wrong.” Grant came towards me and pulled me to face him. “I was tormented by what I did, every time I stepped in this house…It disgusted me that I was sleeping with someone else and that I was ruining our marriage…Baby please….I was wrong completely. I know this now just…” I snatched away from him. “Now …you realize this now. Sure you do after your ass had been caught.” I walked into the nearby hall, I had to get away from him or so help me God. “No that’s not what I meant I…”He said chasing after me.

  “Well were you satisfied? Did she give you what you needed?” I stopped abruptly with my questions and didn’t even let him respond. “I mean obviously I wasn’t getting the job done. Forget the fact that I was willing to give up my damn career for you…for us… you still needed a little piece on the side.” Grant shook his head and made his eyes plead to me…but I wasn’t falling for that shit now. “It wasn’t like that.” He tried to respond. I chuckled a little and leaned against the wall. “No? Well what was it like? I was home, cooking, cleaning, watching our child and oh my goodness I don’t know trying to save our marriage. I did everything you asked me to do and barely got five minutes of your time. You just couldn’t wait to run the streets and start fucking any and every nasty ass hoe willing to spread her legs for you.” Grant tried to pull me into his arms but I shoved him off. Trying to calm me down was impossible, not after this.

  “I mean forget that you have a wife and child at home who you took vows with. Who you promised to love, honor, cherish all that shit…none of that mattered to you did it?” Those tears were welling up again; I felt like dying, I couldn’t believe he could do this. “So what is this? You love her? You two want to be together with your new baby and live happily ever...” He grabbed me abruptly. “No…I want you. I want to be with you.” I slapped his hands away from and started crying all over again. Grant didn’t say anything, there was nothing to say. I wiped tears from my face and stared at him coldly. “You son of a bitch…How long did you think you could hide this...A month…A year...Forever.” He finally looked back up at me. “I was going to tell you. I just needed the right time.” I stepped back. “Whoa the right time…Well let’s see before she got pregnant would have really made the cut…Oh and after realized you were married would have eased right on in…and oh yeah before you started sleeping with her ass would have been great!” He took a step towards me. “Don’t...” I warned. “Don’t you ever touch me again…You know what I don’t even blame you”

  He looked confused. “…..that’s right your off the hook this is my fault….because I should have realized what a worthless bastard you were a long time ago…that’s my mistake….but I’m going to correct it now.” I headed for the door. “Where are you going?” Grant ran after me. “I’m doing what I should have done the first time… get the hell away from you.” He blocked the door so I couldn’t get by. “No, you can’t leave me. Let’s talk about this.” I looked at him like he was crazy. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” I tried to move him out of the way but I couldn’t get him to budge. “Lucy listen, I made a mistake I didn’t want to hurt you. Just listen to me please.” I was getting seriously angry and feared what I was about to do.
“Move!” I screamed at him. “No! I’m not going anywhere and neither are you so just list….” I smacked him so hard across his face, I shocked myself. But that didn’t stop me from lunging for him again. I kept punching and hitting him over and over, I couldn’t stop, I wanted to beat his brains in. We ended up struggling and breaking damn near everything in the living room. He finally bound my hands down against the stairs.

  “Stop…” He screamed. Bang, Bang. There was a aggressive knocking on the door. “Hello… is anyone in there. Open up.” Realizing I had calmed down Grant got up and stood over me. He went and answered the door. A nearby neighbor stood in the doorway not knowing what to expect. “I heard screaming and glass breaking is everything ok in here.” The man looked at Grant strangely probably because of all the scratches on his face and arms. “Everything is fine thank you for your concern.” Grant began to close the door but the neighbor wasn’t buying it. “Are you sure? You look like you’ve been in a fight sir?” Grant was getting irritated by the whole situation. “Look, I said everything’s fine now just...” I managed to move past them both and out the door into the driveway. “No…Lucy wait...!” Grant tried to come after me but the stranger blocked his path. “Lucy wait …Lucy!” I quickly ran into my car, backed out of the driveway and speed out of there like a bat out of hell. I couldn’t hear his screams for me to stop, I couldn’t hear anything. I wanted to get away. I wanted to get away and never look back.